


Hang on to the Night

by Teactoc



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Also I can't seem to stop judging my characters and comment on their stupidity as I write, Angst, But keith doesn't seem to mind, Canon Gay Character, Drinking, Getting Together, Gratuitous Smut, I lost control at some point, It was just angst and then the characters decided to have sex, Jealousy, M/M, Past Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Pining Shiro (Voltron), Season/Series 07 Spoilers, Shiro (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Swearing, Who am I to say no, a disaster I'd say even, mentions of Acxa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-09-09
Packaged: 2019-07-10 08:57:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15946028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teactoc/pseuds/Teactoc
Summary: They've freed the Earth, there are still many things to work on but loneliness isn't something you can cure with the snap of your fingers. It's a random night (or so it seems) and Shiro finds himself with a drink in his hand, asking himself questions he doesn't have the answers to, wishing for someone that's out of reach, remembering a past that holds clues about the future.





	Hang on to the Night

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! I'm writing for Voltron now too and I'm super excited about it! I haven't been a fan for long but wow I'm obsessed with the show! And with Shiro, this is ridiculous how much I love the guy and how much I love sheith. Anyway, I had this idea, this need to write it and share it with you all a few days ago so it's really just a quick thingy nothing too serious although I like the way it turned out. Hope you'll enjoy this as much as I had fun writing it! The title comes from Tegan and Sara's song of the same name. 
> 
> Also many many thanks to [cover-me-cover-me](https://archiveofourown.org/users/red_velvet_wings/pseuds/cover-me-cover-me) my awesome beta.

Why? Three letters that oftentimes carry a weight that’s hard to bear. It’s a question Shiro has been asking a lot lately regarding his love life. Mostly to himself although the last time it went past his lips -and it was a long time ago- he already knew the answer.

 

“I can’t do this anymore.” Adam had said something along that line, tired but resolute as he had grabbed his bag and left. And just like that, he was out of Shiro’s life. It had felt as if he wasn’t there in the first place. His things were gone, not that he had many in the room they used to live in at the garrison but still, he was so quick in removing every trace of him that in the loneliness of the following nights Shiro had sometimes wondered if Adam and he had shared anything at all.

 

He had thought that being driven by the same passion would suffice for their fragile connection to grow into something unbreakable but he hadn't considered that what would break first would be the people and not the feelings. Well, the feelings were quick to crumble after that anyway but they weren’t strong in the first place. Sure, they cared deeply for each other and in the cradle of their heated embraces they used to whisper words that felt sacred at the time but it was an illusion fueled by their needs.

 

No, it was their exhaustion that got the best of them. Adam was tired of running after what was calling Shiro so desperately out there among the stars and Shiro, well Shiro was sick and felt out of place and you can’t keep that level of energy when you’re constantly fidgety, constantly trying to prove your worth to the world.

 

He had thought that Adam would be the one that would ground him, and he had tried really hard for this to be true but as time went by, he had realized it wasn’t right. Adam was amazing but they were not what the other needed and he knew that very well when he asked ‘why’, seated on the couch, speaking to no one but himself as Adam had closed their door one final time.

 

It wasn’t a ‘why can’t you do this anymore?’ or a ‘why are you leaving me?’ but more of a ‘why am I doing this to us?’, ‘why can’t I be the one for you who have been so patient with me?’.

 

It took some time but eventually, it hit him: there was someone for whom he was right and for whom he had been patient. And maybe that was why Adam had left him so easily and why he hadn’t even fought for Adam to stay.

 

Because Adam already suspected who that was, long before Shiro had even entertained the idea.

 

“Come on Adam, he’s like a brother to me!” Shiro had laughed at Adam’s frown and crossed arms. “I’m only backing him up because I feel like he has a great potential, there’s something about the kid…” he had added pensive, his lips curving into a tender smile at the thought of the young boy.

 

Adam hadn’t seemed convinced by his words and retrospectively he understood why. Of course, Shiro wasn’t in love with Keith at the time, the kid was 17 and even if he had been legal Shiro would never be unfaithful. It’s just that ‘that something’ about Keith wasn’t just mere brotherhood. Scratch that, it was at the time, but now… Now that they had saved the universe, now that Keith had rescued him in more ways than a regular friend would have, he wasn’t so sure anymore about what it was that Shiro could say regarding what he felt for Keith.

 

Their roles were reversed now. If Shiro had been the mentor back then when Keith was only a rebel teenager, Keith was now the one tending to Shiro’s numerous traumas, and boy wasn’t he a handful now.

 

But then again, he might have not appeared as much yet in some twisted way he had always been quite a handful. After all, Adam had struggled with Shiro’s self-conscious issues and his compulsive need to always be the best in everything as if it would mean that Shiro was less of a man if he wasn’t a record-breaker.

 

And when had Shiro started to realize that it wasn’t how you should measure the value of someone?

 

When he had met Keith.

 

There was some greatness in the kid, the kind that kept growing the more hardships they had encountered as paladins of Voltron and yet he refused to see it. Meeting Keith gave Shiro a purpose: to open Keith’s eyes to his worth, give him the tools to become the leader he was destined to be and for Shiro himself to stop competing with the whole universe.

 

There are better things, greater things to do in the universe than to perpetually see yourself as your own enemy. He knows that now.

 

Because as it happened, Shiro had met many people that became his worst enemies along his journey in outer space and they were still haunting him to that day, so he didn't have the need to add himself to that list anymore anyway. But still, that change had begun when Keith became an involuntary part of his life, back when he was recruiting young cadets for the garrison.

 

They were different men and it was a different time.

 

What hasn’t changed is the burn of the alcohol down his throat. Be it nunvill or whiskey, the feeling is identical, the purpose behind his solo drinking the same as that night he had spent mere days before the Kerberos mission: to numb his aching soul.

 

He had wanted to talk to Keith that night, days before leaving for Pluto’s moon because Keith would have understood the siren call of the stars.

 

Really, how come it took him so long to understand what Keith meant to him when the signs were there all along?

 

Shiro sighs, circling the rim of his glass with an idle fingertip. There are still many things to do now that they’ve saved the Earth and the reconstruction efforts were going great so far. The mysteries and many questions left unanswered hang above their heads like a sword of Damocles, dark and looming dangers that are sure to come knocking at their door and yet, Shiro can’t shake the fact that what he wants more than anything at the moment, is Keith.

 

Only why would Keith want to spend more time with him now that he is a grown man? Now that Shiro isn’t some kind of hero for him to worship anymore. Shiro is a broken thing, there are parts of him missing, and literally on top of that.

 

Ultimately the question is infuriatingly always the same. Why?

 

Why would Shiro be a better choice than say... Acxa? He had seen the way she had looked at him and he couldn’t exactly blame her. Shiro is placing the guilt on that time Keith had spent with Krolia in the Quantum Abyss, those years that meant that Keith was now an accessible man for Shiro’s mind, Shiro’s soul, Shiro’s body. Better stop his thoughts right there. But yeah, he hadn’t been the only one eyeing the paladin with envy, that much was obvious.

 

So why him? Always that damn question. Shiro has traveled the universe, he has seen wonders even the most imaginative writer on Earth couldn’t come up with in any work of fiction and had more explanations about what’s out there than there are actual questions and yet, yet he doesn’t know the answers of the simplest ones.

 

Talk about the best and brightest, Captain Takashi Shirogane.

 

He gulps his drink in one single shot and barely winces as the alcohol burns its way down his throat. He’s not completely inebriated, just pleasantly buzzing. This cheap crap is terrible but good alcohol is a rarity these days, it’s not exactly a priority when there’s a whole planet to reconstruct and traumas to mend. Well, actually that could be of some help… But no, getting people drunk isn’t a solution. Even Shiro isn’t fucked up enough to fall down that road, Gods know the shit he has survived but he is a captain now and people look up to him, they kind of always had if he’s being honest but now the sparkle in their eyes is different as he strolls down the corridors of the Atlas, personnel of all ranks and status saluting him with a respect that’s sometimes just plain admiration.

 

Tonight though, the halls of the ship are empty. He has taken residence in the ship, or is that a robot now? That whole thing he pulled out fighting the Galra is still too raw for him to comprehend and he shakes his head as he punches the code to his quarters/office. The fog of the whiskey has started to settle in his mind and it’s not as arduous to push that particular issue away as it could be if he were more sober.

 

What’s more grueling is the reminder that Keith saved him, for the umpteenth time that day, and it’s always giving him the hope that even if he can’t have Keith the way he wants to, Keith will always have his back. Less life-threatening circumstances would be awesome thank you, but no matter how dire the situation is, Keith seems to have made a priority of keeping Shiro’s ass safe and wow isn’t that simple fact sending him over the moon like a hormonal teenager, daydreaming about some hypothetical undying love Keith could feel for him.

 

Huh, Shiro should definitely never drink that thing he found in the mess hall ever again.

 

He gets rid of his uniform and falls hard on the bed that has been installed at some point in a corner of his room, laying on his back in his briefs, his head resting on his arm while the mechanical one hums agreeably at his side. It’s not that it’s loud really, the technology and alchemy behind it are top-notch but it’s part of him now, it’s an intimate connection they “share” and when he concentrates hard enough, Shiro can feel the rumble of the circuitry and it lulls his mind as efficiently as the meditative state he used to enter back when he was still a paladin linked with Black.

 

He almost doesn’t hear the chime but comes out of his reverie to get up and open the door. His alcohol clouded brain also doesn’t register the fact that he isn’t appropriately dressed until he meets Keith's wide eyes. The young man schools his feature immediately though and Shiro tries his best to act cool.

 

“Hope I’m not interrupting or something,” Keith says.

 

They saw each other in that state plenty of times, it shouldn’t be any different now and Shiro totally doesn’t have to think of grossest thing he can to calm the boner that threatens to make things really awkward as he leaves the doorway, a silent offer for Keith to enter and the other man follows him, the automatic door shutting behind him.

 

Shiro isn’t wishing at all that Keith ogles his ass while he puts on some sweatpants.  

 

See? Totally fine. Everything’s cool. Awesome. Great!

 

“Shiro?”

 

Right, Keith has been the only one talking so far.

 

“Oh no, I had a drink before coming back in here I was just thinking… about stuff…” Shiro adds lamely. So much for trying to act detached.

 

“You had a drink, by yourself?” And if Shiro’s judgment wasn’t a bit altered by his alcohol consumption he would swear that there’s a hint of concern in Keith’s voice. He laughs nervously and dismisses it with a wave of his mechanical prosthetic.

 

“I don’t do that a lot!” He says a bit too vehemently, he shouldn’t have to justify what he does during his free time. “It’s just, you know, sometimes you just want to unwind after a long day…” And drown your misery in cheap alcohol because you’re pining over your what... best friend? Yeah, he doesn’t voice that aloud, that would be weird. “Anyway, what can I do for you, Keith?”

 

“We were supposed to spar tonight but since you’ve been busy with captaining the Atlas I thought you forgot and I came to see if everything was alright.”

 

Shiro’s response is immediate, unfiltered. “Acxa came by, she was looking for you so I thought you’d prefer to spend some time with her rather than train with your old buddy.”

 

Ah Acxa, because that’s why he had stormed into the mess hall to grab the bottle of whiskey in the first place. Jealousy is an ugly thing really and Shiro isn’t proud of it. Nor is he proud of how that came out from his mouth like he’s disgusted at the idea that Keith would favor the company of the beautiful Galran rather than his.

 

“Wait what?!”

 

Keith looks at Shiro like he’s suddenly growing a second head, which maybe he should because it would mean a second brain and maybe, maybe that would stop him from saying stupid shit when he’s emotionally compromised.

 

“Acxa, she likes you.” Shiro shrugs like it’s the answer to Keith’s noncommittal question and there’s nothing he can about it.

 

“What does it have to do with any-” Keith stops midword and realization draws clear on his face. Shiro wants to groan and maybe he does, maybe he blushes and rubs his face with his hands, clearly making a face at his own stupidity.

 

“Sorry. It won’t be an issue don’t worry. I’ve been keeping this to myself for a while so I can do that again” Probably, but Shiro doesn’t say that either. “You know all of this” he gestures vaguely in the air like it would encompass all that happened between Kerberos and now “has taken its toll on me. Maybe I had to let it be known to you to actually move on.” Now he’s rambling and his mouth doesn’t seem to want to stop blurting his desperation. “Yeah, I’m just tired, mostly, that’s why, but now that it’s out we can laugh about it and never say a word about this ever again.”

 

Keith now looks like a frozen computer. Shiro briefly wonders if he should call Pidge to reboot Keith but that’s before the young man walks the few steps that separate them and crashes his lips against Shiro’s. He doesn’t register that fact immediately but when he does, it’s all teeth and nose bumping and hands gripping Keith’s shirt like he’s afraid he will vanish.

 

“You’re such an idiot” Keith whispers against Shiro’s lips and the soft laugh that makes their pressed chests vibrate surprises him as he nods, lightheaded. “How you’re the Captain when you’re so dense is a mystery.”

 

He pinches Keith's hips playfully and the young man laughs along with him as they share another round of kisses that aren’t as urgent this time, more longing and loving Shiro dares to think.

 

“I’m great at pretending I know how to adult,” Shiro says as he runs his fingers into Keith’s long raven hair and his heart wants to burst out of his chest at this lifelong fantasy of his that is becoming a reality. Keith is in his arms, who knew hm?

 

He’s so busy exploring Keith’s mouth with his tongue now that he knows he has the permission to, that he wonders when he had taken a seat on his bed with Keith straddling his lap. He thinks maybe it happened somewhere when Keith tackled him but he is too happy resting his hands on the man’s thighs to question whatever is happening at the moment. It’s happening and that’s what he should focus onto.

 

Because it’s for real right?

 

“So, we’re kissing…” Shiro swears he used to be more coherent. Keith nods though, his gaze tender and fond like he knows Shiro has to process all this on his own, his fingertips tracing idly the shape of Shiro’s scar running across his face.

 

“We are” he nods.

 

“I love you, you know” he blurts and never again he is touching a drop of alcohol. It brings down all his defenses and his mouth has free rein over the responsible part of his brain.

 

“I know” Keith smiles. A genuine radiating smile that blinds Shiro momentarily and is that happiness that blooms into his chest? “I mean, I know that now. Which is good because you know, I love you too.” Yes. Yes, it definitely is happiness. Wait, no, it’s more than that. It’s elation. It’s a good word, a fancy word. Shiro is proud of himself for being once again such an intellectual.

 

“But why?” Another stupid question his brain pops up, well that didn’t last long.

 

“Do I need a reason? Why do _you_ love me, Captain?” Keith whispers against his lips and suddenly all of his blood runs south and Shiro shifts uncomfortably under Keith. He’s awfully close to discover what that word is doing to him and that would be bad. Would it?

 

Shiro starts to open his mouth to try and answer him but he’s silenced by Keith's tongue diving between his lips and who is he to stop Keith’s curiosity really?

 

There are millions of reasons Shiro loves Keith and maybe one day he will write that list down but the question is long forgotten now. Filed in his sobering mind, stored for another time.

 

The why doesn't matter anymore, not when Keith is climbing higher up his thighs, his hand grabbing Shiro’s white hair as their kiss deepens, muttering how long he has been craving this, how badly he has always desired Takashi and hearing his name whispered with such raw lust unravels every intricate doubt in his brain and they soon turn to thin air.

 

Keith is reaching for his shirt from behind and soon tosses it to the side before his lips claim Shiro’s once more and there’s a moan that reverberates between their mouths, its origin unclear at this point but both men are now adamant to make this happen again and it shouldn’t be a surprise, they both enjoy a good challenge.

 

Keith’s hands are everywhere and he whines, gods he _whines_ about the fact that he can’t get his fingers on Shiro’s butt. “That’s a fine piece of ass you have Takashi, I will need to get my hands on it at some point.” So Keith definitely admired it earlier… and probably a bunch of other times before that.

 

There’s a surge of confidence that runs through him, the kind that urges respect out of people, that powerful side of him that made him what he is now, that makes Keith shudder as Shiro rises from the bed, a strong arm holding Keith while he pulls down his sweatpants and turns around to throw Keith on his bed.

 

There’s no argument about why Keith chose him, it was never him to question it anyway. It was Keith’s decision to make and he won’t dwell anymore on the matter. He had been doing that a ridiculously long amount of time, hypotheses are irrelevant now. The fact that Keith is hastily undressing and squirming on Shiro’s bed is all that he needs.

 

Shiro hooks his hand on the waistband of his briefs and takes it off in one swift motion. Keith's breath hitches and a smug smile graces Shiro’s lips as he climbs on the bed, going straight in for Keith’s mouth while he wraps the man’s thighs around his waist and they start to rut against each other.

 

There’s no questioning about how quick everything is happening either. With Shiro and Keith, it has always been a matter of “all or nothing”. It has been “nothing” long enough that they can’t waste any more time not acting on their needs.

 

It’s not sweet tender loving, they are too broken for that yet. The pent-up tension that has accumulated for years has to explode right now on this very bed.

 

Shiro’s mechanical arm flies toward the drawers closest to his bed to grab that jar of something that resembles coconut oil he acquired recently when he talked about muscle aches to Coran once and he is thankful that his new prosthetic is detached from his shoulder so it can travel quite the distance because there’s no way he’s gonna stop sliding his cock against Keith’s hard one especially with all those delightful whimpering noises he makes as Shiro’s tongue latches on his flushed neck.

 

Keith is frustrated that he can’t feel Shiro inside him right now, he knows because he had petulantly said so but as primal as they are about to get, Shiro doesn’t want to hurt Keith so he coats his fingers with the sticky product and carefully starts prepping his lover.

 

He has to take a deep breath at that thought because it seems so surreal and at the same time it doesn’t? He can’t spend too long thinking about that anyway because he hits a bundle of nerves that makes Keith cry so lewdly he just can’t resist the temptation any longer.

 

He digs into the jar for some more oil that he rubs along his shaft and locks a lecherous look onto Keith that slyly and silently dares him to resist his quivering open body.

 

Shiro is a weak creature when it comes to Keith, he has proven this already so he pushes the head in, deeper if Keith’s heels pressing against his ass is any indication that the man wants it all. When he’s all the way in both of them release a shuddered sigh and they kiss. Something filthy and hot, there’s a lot of saliva and their lips are red and plump with how much force they put into it.

 

Shiro moves because he is only a man and he’s buried to the hilt into Keith’s welcoming ass and he has to do something if he doesn’t want to come here and there. That would be embarrassing. It’s quickly becoming erratic and they are both loud, the sound of skin clapping with every thrust doesn’t even cover whatever it is that forces its way out of their lips. They are sweaty and their skin boils as they reach that point where Shiro remembers Keith’s leaking cock that is trapped between their rock hard abs. He wraps his human hand around it, giving it a few strokes while his other hand grounds Keith to the mattress and he pounds hard into him as Keith cries out and comes hard, muscles clenching so forcefully around Shiro’s cock that he follows quickly before falling heavily on Keith’s sated figure.

 

They’re sticky, gross but no one seems to actually care as they come down from their high. Shiro shifts a bit to prevent all his weight from crushing Keith and his mechanical hand absent-mindedly brushes the man’s hair while Keith’s own hand grazes Shiro's hip.

 

They don’t talk. They’re not exactly good at it, history has proven that. Instead, they fall asleep in each other’s arms but not before Shiro has reluctantly got up to grab a washcloth in order to clean Keith, himself and the mess they made on his bed as best as his exhausted body could.

 

Shiro is still a broken thing but Keith is his now and for the first time in ages he actually sleeps a dreamless night as he hangs on to him. He is at peace with himself regarding this part of his life, grounded by Keith's warmth, knowing that he’s not alone chasing for the stars, he has someone running along with him now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this! Feel free to come and talk with me about Sheith here [ Twitter ](https://twitter.com/teactoc)
> 
> Don't forget to leave a comment if you feel like brightening an author's day! Really it always means a lot to me. I answer to all comments unless they're from friends which means I've probably showered them with my love already xD 
> 
> See ya ~


End file.
